Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Do you have your tennis shoes on?

The captain of Jason's co-ed team stopped by the bleachers tonight asking me "You've got tennis shoes on, right?"

"No, Joe, I'm wearing flip flops (on purpose, because I'm no fool), sorry!"

Hee hee! I've learned that if you go to a co-ed softball game with your husband you'll eventually be asked to sub for a female who is a no-show or one who is running a bit late. I'm not going to get suckered into that. I stopped playing 15 years ago when my eyesight started changing. So my flipflops are the footwear of choice on game days. Sneaky, sneaky.

A lot has changed since I used to play, and there are new challenges to be faced now:

I'd need eyeware to play. Nowadays I'm near-sighted so I'd need to wear prescriptive eyewear to have any hope of seeing the ball coming at me. And I've noticed that even when I have glasses on my depth perception is "off". So while I don't have any problem with the idea of catching a ball -- been there, done that for years -- the issue is I don't have any confidence that I could "find" the ball in time to catch it.

I'd need armbands to play. The lovely tennis-elbow-in-both-elbows diagnosis means that finger motions and gripping cause pain in both arms. So batting and throwing would both be difficult. If I were to wear the ever-so-attractive armbands I would look like a total dork, but beyond that, it would only help a certain amount. I'd still be paying the price the next day for abusing the injury.

I'd need oxygen after running the bases (if I even made it around the bases). A serious lack of exercise would make it a challenge to run the bases. Given that I've got "the girls" on my front side and "baby's got back" on my backside there'd be a lot of huffing and puffing and jiggling and wiggling going on.

It's not about getting old so much, it's about getting out of shape. And my current shape has some issues: laziness, and too much time in a cube. It'd be like sending Big Bertha out there. :)

I tried to stretch this photo so you'd get a "Big Bertha" effect,
but my image manipulation skills are sadly lacking when
working on Rico's laptop. Sorry.

And I don't want to be Big Bertha. I've got to get on that. Get up and get moving. Yup.

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